Blondie
by FountainPenguin
Summary: One sunny March day, Lindsay invites several friends - Beth included - over to her place for game night. Ezekiel invites himself along after deciding that he wants to come too, which is... okay. Oh, geez. And when was Tyson supposed to show up for that date again? (Written June 2015)


She eyed the 587 area code, still debating whether or not he'd notice if she let it ring itself to voicemail again. Not enough to matter, she decided, smoothing out a wrinkle on her pillow. He never noticed enough to matter; a rhino to the windshield wouldn't faze his attitude. And if she didn't reply now, he'd just make arrangements with the voicemail machine. And then be all hurt when she didn't show. He'd done a good job of hiding it all spring, but Lindsay knew that deep down he was still bitter about the way she'd stood him up at the Christmas ballroom. She'd been in Hawaii, fighting Paula for the right to test all the buttons and switches in the helicopter.

The phone vibrated again in her hand. This time she flipped it open and brought it up to her ear. "Conner?"

His voice lit back at her as cheerful as ever. "Nope, still Tyler."

As if she didn't know.

"Oh, oops!" She let out her best giggle–the one she knew would make his shoulders ease and his eyelids flicker closed and his mouth quirk up at the ends. "Hi, Tyler."

"Glad to hear your voice has come back, Linds. Miss you like crazy."

"Aw, I feel the same way. Except I miss _you_."

He smiled. Lindsay couldn't see it – duh – but she heard it in the sound of his next breath. "We're on lunch break right now," he explained, "so I wanted to give a quick call to see what's up with my favorite chickadee in the entire Milky Way universe."

Something clanged on his end of the line. There was a popping, shattering noise like an exploding light fixture. Lindsay tightened her grip on the pillow.

"Ooh, fun! I just ate lunch too. Chicken noodle soup. It's my favorite, especially with the cream added in and a root beer float on the side. I must have gained…" She paused, regretted the start of that sentence, then added, "It was really good. So, did you have sandwiches again?"

'Did you have sandwiches again'? Lindsay's toes joined her fingers in gripping the pillow's edge.

"Salami and lettuce, as usual. Aw man, I can't believe it's been four days and they're still out of turkey here- it's ridiculous. I should sue Riley for cruel and unusual punishment. Oh! Oh man, you should've _seen_ it though! Leshawna, me, and Chet snuck in a whole pile-mass of chips when we were pretty sure all the security cameras had gone droopy. We hid them inside the stegosaurus head." Tyler laughed. "Yep, no one's ever gonna look for them in there."

"A stegosaurus? I thought those were like, inspired."

Stellar observation there, blondie. Killer.

"Inspired?"

"Yeah, like, _way_ past their inspiration date. I drank inspired milk once on Halloween when Teresa said it would make me the realest-looking zombie in my cheerleading squad. My whole face turned pale green and it totally clashed with the rest of my outfit. I had to get Daddy to redo my make-up and everything! I didn't get out there until it was like, ten o'clock, and by then most of the candy was gone. It was awful!"

"Oh, you mean- Oh. Yeah, no, it's just a prop from that old movie with the chase scene through the museum. You know the one, with Adam Chandler and that dude with the 'stache. We watched it together at your place once. Valentine's Day, I think?"

Lindsay pressed her brows together. Had that happened? That hadn't happened. She would've remembered if that had happened.

Tyler had gone on without waiting for a reply. "So this way-nuts storm hopskipped in yesterday and beamed out a chunk of the cliff, so now we have to reshoot all the later scenes that have it in there. There's like, eight. Riley was furious, haha. Leshawna's taking him on a walk right now to try and make his eyes turn dry while I get changed for the next scene."

A pause.

"So Linds, how's the weather been to you Saskatchewan-side lately?"

Lindsay slid off her bed and pushed open the door to the balcony. "Hot. Oh, _so_ hot. I just don't understand it. I've never seen it this bad in March, ever. Paula and Teresa are out in the pool, but I think if I set a toe in, I'll boil. My new tan could bleach off! Um, what's that noise?"

"Huh?" Tyler paused, his breathing coming through the phone as a crackle of static. "Oh, that's just the generator. Keeps the cameras from getting overheated and all. When the rattle-swingy part sounds like it's about to snapburst into a gazillion pieces, that's when you know it's working."

"It won't really, uh, snapburst though, will it? I don't want you to get hurt."

"Of course it won't, Linds. This whole place is built like a bomb shelter. Wicked castle solid. Totally safe. Yep, the most dangerous time on camp is walking across the parking lot to Wendy's for lunch with Leshawna. Hey, tell your dad thanks again for the sweet gig."

She let out her breath in a slow wave. "So you're like, liking it?"

"It's _awesome_ here. So crazy when I think about it. Sometimes I can't believe it really happened to me. I always wanted to go to Toronto on sports scholarship like my dad, but the last five months have really convinced me to maybe start looking into acting schools instead."

"Acting… schools?"

"Yeah! I know it sounds nuts, and I definitely don't want to give up sports entirely, but I really think I have potential. I haven't forgotten any of my lines for months and the people here are all so nice. Like, three million times better than Chris. They even let me endorse all the most extreme products! I get to do these wicked cool stunts, and no one ever cares if I trip over my feet on camera. We just work it into the script. Riley said the other day that I'm the best comic relief the studio's had for years, and I don't even have to try super hard. Everybody loves it. I'm a natural!" His tone dipped into awe. "I have found my true niche in life."

"Oh Leonard, I'm so happy for you." Lindsay lifted the birdhouse down from its hook on the wall and reached for the bag of feed beside her. "Y'know, we should do something to celebrate this. It's like, your five-month anniversary any week now, right? Before you go off to acting school, we should have a party."

"Hey, I was just thinking the exact same thought, except in Tyler's head. A little party would be great, if your dad's okay with it."

"He would so be okay with it. He didn't want me to tell you this, but he really likes you. Actually, I think he said that he and your dad were locker neighbors in high school or something? Or maybe that was grade school. Anyway, I'll talk to him about it when he gets home on Thursday."

"Works for me." Someone in the background called Tyler's name, and he covered the phone to reply. Lindsay replaced the birdhouse and flicked the windchime. Then Tyler's voice came on again. "Hey listen, we shoot my last scene at five and then I'm off for the rest of the day. Do you wanna go out to dinner tonight?"

Lindsay closed her eyes. "Water Grill?"

"You know it. Work for you?"

"Oh, totally." Lindsay paused, wondering why she'd bothered to hide her crossed fingers behind her back. She shook them out and pulled open the door. "Um, I have friends coming over at three, but I can make sure they're gone by six-thirty. Does that sound okay?"

"Six-thirty would be perfect." His tone turned light. "Chicks' night out?"

Her thoughts shot to Emli and Mayrin. "Well, sort of."

He paused.

"You didn't invite a bunch of boys over to your house, did you, Linds?"

"Terry, don't freak out. It'll be fine." Lindsay plucked her hairbrush from the vanity table. "Sasha will be there too. And anyways, we've gotten together to play games every Tuesday for the last, like, three years. Except not the times when I was at camp. Don't make that sound like I haven't told you this. I know for sure I've told you this. I'm pretty sure it was when we were watching that movie about the football player who broke both his arms. Yeah, and you said you thought it was cool."

"But I wasn't- _Argh_." Tyler's breathing stopped for a moment. Lindsay yanked strands of hair from her brush and switched the phone to her other ear. She heard a mumble of voices, but couldn't make out the words. It sounded like some sort of code.

"Noah?"

Tyler took his hand off the phone and his voice came back again. "Well, okay. I guess I don't mind you having a game night. I mean, it's your life anyway, and it's not like I can or should control you. Just, you're not planning to be alone with them or anything, are you?"

"Nope." Lindsay swapped her hairbrush for a pair of scissors and snipped off a tiny patch of split-ends. "We all stay at the big table the whole time, except if one of us goes to get snacks and things. Jake, don't worry. They're just some of my other friends, and _you're_ the one I like."

"Okay…"

"So I'll see you at six-thirty."

"Yep. Hey, perfect timing. Here come Riley and Leshawna now. Looks like we're ready to shoot, woo-hoo! Can't wait for tonight, Linds. Remember, if there's any emergency, ring up 911 for help. Six-thirty, your door, I'll be there. Love you 'til then!"

"Love you longer," Lindsay murmured back. There was a crash as he tripped over his own feet and into a camera, and then the line cut off. She closed the phone with a cringe and checked the time. 11:26. She should really start cleaning the dining room.

She called Beth instead.

"Hello?"

All of Lindsay's anxiety melted away. She put down the scissors and picked up her hairbrush again. "Belle? I have a really-"

"It's me, Beth! If you're getting this message, that means I'm away from the phone right now." She giggled. "I'm probably really busy practicing my fire baton twirling, or doing farm things, or hanging with my adorable boyfriend Brady, or going shopping with my favorite BFF, Lindsay! Hi, Lindsay!"

She sighed. "Hi, Beth."

"Linds, if you're at home and there's an emergency, one fire extinguisher is in the kitchen and the other one is in your room, under your bed. The number you should call for help is 911. And there's that sparkly frog binder I sent you home with that outlines exactly what to do in any situation from being snowed in to finding a really gross bug in the sink."

Lindsay frowned. A sparkly frog binder. That sounded naggingly familiar. Or was it a sparkly kitten binder? In any case, what had she done with it? Buried it among her dirty clothes, no doubt.

Barking outside her bedroom door. On second thought, Cricket had probably taken the papers and chewed, swallowed, and digested.

"You promised me you'd keep that folder in your desk drawer, so check it first and if you can't find any answers, call Izzy." Beth rattled off a string of numbers, then added, "If _she_ can't help you, then give me another call and maybe I'll be back by then. And remember: 911. Okay, bye! Leave a message after the-" _Beep_.

"Hey, Liz. It's Lindsay. Just wanted to talk. Not about, like, Tyson, or anything, haha!"

Cricket's barking morphed into a whine, and Lindsay wandered over to open the door so he could scamper in.

"Okay, well I did, but I want to talk to you about the game too. Big plans today! Call me back or I might just die!" She laughed again, then broke off as the little dog scrambled onto her unmade bed and started licking his bum. "Cricket, get down! Black fur is _so_ hard to get out of red sheets. And didn't Paula put that gorgeous green ribbon around your neck this morning? Did you eat it?"

Lindsay decided that she didn't actually care about fur on her pillow and gave up. Emphasizing her voice so Beth would know she was talking to her again, she said, "No, seriously: Please call me soon, BFF! Love you!"

End call. Sigh.

She tried for Marci next. They'd had a falling out over the last year as Total Drama sapped Lindsay's summer, Marci got tangled in a toxic relationship with some lifeguard, and Lindsay had suddenly found herself surrounded by bundles of new friends. But Marci was cool, right? Lindsay hoped she'd be willing to talk about boy trouble again just the way they used to. She'd left a note reminding herself to patch things up between them, but it had been stuck to the corner of her vanity mirror for months. Staring at it now, Lindsay hoped she hadn't forgotten to make that call.

"Mimi?"

"Hey sweet pea! Marci here! If you're hearing this message, congrats! You caught me at a time when my cell is actually out of juice. No way! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you lickity-split. Lindsay, if there's an emergency, call either 911 or Pizza Hut. And if neither of those places can help you, then it shouldn't matter anyway because the world is probably about to end." _Beep_.

She hung up. Marci had never let her phone run out of power, ever. Not even when they'd taken that trip to Montana and fallen out of cell range, precious battery life dropping away before they even knew what had happened.

Lindsay set down her phone and rested her chin in her hands, gazing at her reflection. Worry over Tyler and the future was starting to eat away at her scalp. She needed a good laugh. Or a good cry. Either one would do. Who else could she call? Her phone wasn't as new as Beth's was, so it didn't store numbers and names. There weren't many other numbers she knew off the top of her head. Squinting through the phone book would just cause her head to swim with yellow pages and meaningless letters again.

She picked up her phone and tapped in a few more numbers. No voicemail this time- her call was answered before the first ring.

"Officer Blucard speaking."

"Um, hello? My friend Beth told me that if I ever have a problem, I should call 911. Can you help?"

A pair of groans sounded on the other end of the phone. "Lindsay, we've been over this!" "Ms. Lane, this line is for emergencies only. Please get off unless you're calling about a real, actual problem."

"No, please! You don't understand! It's that boy I like. Oh, what was his name again?"

"Tyler!"

"Oh, right! Um, I'm kind of starting to worry about him. See, he called me today and he was like-"

"Ms. Lane, please! I've been patient, I've been nice, I've hired you a personal therapist, but this is starting to get ridiculous. You call us five days a week, on a good week. I would cut your line and block all your calls, but apparently that's illegal."

"But James-"

"Lindsay, no. This is an official government institution trained to deal with _emergencies_." She sniffled, he paused, then continued. "Listen… we're sending the intern over with a plate of cookies. Oatmeal, your favorite. He'll check around, make sure everything's cool, the usual. But you have to promise not to call this number again, unless there is a real and very dangerous problem. A flood. An earthquake. A kidnapping. Okay?"

"Okay." She shut her phone again and stared at the top. One missed call. Someone must have been trying to reach her while she'd been talking to James and Officer Blucard. She didn't recognize the number. It wasn't Beth. It wasn't Marci. It definitely wasn't 911. Lindsay couldn't think of anyone else she wanted to talk to, so she didn't answer. Instead, she got up, took two steps across the floor, and flopped face-first onto her bed.

" _Mmph_."

A cold muzzle nosed her hand. Lindsay pulled Cricket into her arms, burying her face in the scruffy fur of his back.

"At least I'll always have you here to talk to, buggy baby. What would you do if your relationship was about to get, like, a million miles longer? Or maybe two million. I'm not sure how big Canadia really is."

Cricket wriggled out of her grip, sized her up for a moment, licked his muzzle, and then turned around and planted his rear end on her face.

"Well that's easy for you to say! You've been cheating with that new poodle Ellie brought home ever since that dalmatian you liked moved down the street!"

Lindsay lay there for a few minutes more, scrubbing Cricket's fur and feeling sorry for herself, until the doorbell rang. The police intern with a plate of oatmeal cookies. She took them, thanked him, ate one. It was almost noon. She should really start clearing off the dining room table.

She took a shower, then turned off the smoke detectors and made herself a quesadilla. Teresa and Paula came in from swimming in time to steal a bite each, then disappeared into the basement before Lindsay could ask for help in making the place more presentable for guests.

She brushed out her hair again and applied her newest tube of lipgloss (Shinier-Than-Cherry Red). Answered the message she'd gotten- Zach wouldn't be able to make it tonight after all. Pulled out the Cloraxe wipes and decided that she deserved a break. Took Cricket on a short walk around the neighborhood. Dropped a few of the cookies off at Ms. Lopez's house. No calls. No calls. As she and Cricket climbed onto the porch, Lindsay had run out of ways to procrastinate cleaning duty and was just thinking she'd have to get started for real when her phone began to ring.

"Hey, Linds!" Breathless. "Beth here. I got your message. What's up?"

"Beth?" Lindsay pushed open the door, accepting an embrace of cool air. "Oh my gosh, I was so worried! I was afraid you might be dead just like that squirrel we found in the camp bathroom that one night when you really had to go but there were all those bees around and you were scared. You were wearing raspberry cream nail polish, I remember- _so_ didn't go with your nightgown, but of course I wasn't going to tell you that. You know, I called you like, four times today and you never answered. Did you get those?"

"Sorry- Sorry- Horseback riding. Phew, what a rush! I didn't get the chance to answer until now. Hey, did you ever find my lucky hair scrunchie?"

Lindsay sighed and sat down on a clean chair in the dining room. "Beth, I told you. It's going to be in the last place you look. You mark up my words."

"Okay… Um, so you called me because you wanted to say something about Tyler? How are things between you two?"

Lindsay shrugged. "Okay. Same as they have been. He's really been loving life ever since Papa got him on that 'Doctor For a Day' show. Oh- and his agent just signed him on for a new series called 'Sharp Things Flying At Your Head'? That starts next month, and he's trying out for something else over the summer. Um, I can't remember what it is, but I think there's cake."

"Lindsay, that sounds great! Oh, he's going to have so much fun with that. What's the problem? Isn't he happy? Aren't you happy?"

"He is, totally. It's not that I'm not glad he is, but he…"

Lindsay paused. All morning long, day after day and week after week, she'd wanted to let the words spill out of her. But here, now that she had the chance to tell someone, they wouldn't come. Her throat was filled with sand.

"He…"

"Linds?"

"He's always so busy with it all that he never has time for me anymore!"

"Lindsay, that's not true! Tyler loves you. He comes up to see you all the time. Remember three weeks ago? Your birthday? The two of you spent all day at that mini golf course, and then went out for pizza and ice cream. And that huge band played and you danced with Tyler and stayed up swimming in your pool until two in the morning. Wasn't that fun?"

Lindsay shook her head, meaning yes but not wanting to confess it. "Belle, he wants to leave me and go to _acting school_! Like, hello, what acting school? There aren't any acting schools around here, and if he goes off to find one like, on the other side of Canadia, then he might… he could…"

"Please… don't cry, Linds."

She couldn't help it. There were too many variables, too many possibilities, too much at stake. What if Tyler got lost and ended up in Mexico? What if he got mugged and left to die on the side of the road? What if he broke his neck while trying to prove his skills and no one knew his emergency contacts? What if he accidentally swallowed a spoonful of peanut butter and didn't have his allergy medicine bottle shot thing with him, or anyone to take him to the hospital? What if the teachers at acting school were so impressed with him that he got a job offer and had to move to English? What if Chris found out where he was and put him through another round of deadly stunts? What if he was attacked by chickens? What if he met a really cute girl who always made him laugh and who never called him by the wrong name, even once? Even on accident?

The tears burned down her face, carving scars. Paula walked by on her way to the stairs, glanced at older sister, and then quickly turned and scrambled away.

Lindsay pushed away her tears with the underside of her wrist. "He's taking me out for dinner tonight."

"Linds, that's great! See, I told you he cared about you."

"Okay, yeah, but it's _always_ dinner. It's eating shrimp and pasta and sitting there awkwardly while he just keeps shoveling food into his mouth, because he's been running around at work all day and is starved by the time he gets to sit down. You can't have a nice talk with a boy who always has pasta dripping from his chin, I mean, hello! Spew city!" Lindsay shuddered. "And staring at him the whole time until his face turns all swimmy in front of my eyes and I can't breathe, a-and trying to remember which name he'll answer to long enough to have a decent conversation with him, it just… just…"

"Linds, it'll be fine. Talk to him during the ride up, and while you're waiting for your food to come."

"He drives. I don't want to distract him. Last time, we almost hit these two totally adorable baby deer. And sometimes he calls that grill place to order in advance because he knows what I like and he thinks I hate to wait. You can do that, apparently."

"Try anyway. Make sure he knows that you're willing to talk. Tyler's sweet, and he won't run out on you until he knows you've finished up. He loves listening to your stories."

Lindsay walked her fingers along the edge of the table. Should I, shouldn't I? Should I jump off that ledge? I could probably do a really awesome flip before I hit the ground.

"I know it sounds so ungrateful, but I'm sick of going out for dinner, Beth. That's all we ever do these days. I wish we could just stay home for once. Grill up some sandwiches. Blend our own milkshakes. See, what's happened is, we never just… _hang out_ anymore like we did on Total Drama. We never just sit by the pool drinking smoothies and burst out laughing without saying a word. Never race each other around on jet skis, or spend all day long at the tennis court until we get so sweaty and gross that we don't care anymore. We never play games."

"Have you told him how you feel?"

"I can't. He loves fancy dinners with the shrimp and sauces and things. And I want him to be happy. I don't want him to think I'm not interested anymore." Lindsay threaded her fingers through her hair, then let them fall. "Okay. You know, that's enough about Tyson for now. I'm sorry, Beth. Thanks for talking to me. I feel much better just letting it out. Things aren't so bad for me here. I know everything will work out okay. Even if Tyler and I did break up - which we won't, if I can help it - I'm sure I'd find a totally new great guy to marry someday."

"No problem. Always happy to help. Anything else?"

"Actually, yeah. My friends and I arranged to play the game around three. Today. I'm hosting at my place. I checked with the others and they said it would be okay, so would you like to come? You really don't have to – I know you live like two hours away – but I'm going to put the offer on the table for you. What does that mean anyway? Is there a magic table around here somewhere that will make anything you put on it disappear? Because I could really use one of those right now. Although, how would you eat your dinner? Would Mr. Hugh accept that as an excuse for not bringing my homework to class?"

"Lindsay?"

Lindsay shook her head. "Oh yeah. So anyways, I'd really love to see you again. It's been months. When was it last, New Year's at yours?"

"That sounds super fun, Linds! I'd _love_ to come. Only, I'm at Ezekiel's right now. Hey Zeke, say hi to Lindsay."

She froze. No sound of Beth passing off the phone, so that could only mean it had been on-

"Yo, yo, Lindsay dog! Haven't seen you e'er since that mistletoe incident at Coody's Christmas party. Heh, that was funny. Ooh- Word on the street's that you just turned se'enteen in Feb'ary, eh? Wish I'd knoown! I woulda called ya ta say hi!"

Lindsay scrubbed away the last of her tears. "S'up, Homeschool."

"Up real great, eh? _The Zeke_ loves the spring more'n any other season. No city-slicker cousins, no fruit to pick, the air smells so nice, s'always warm, and ya've got a couple baby animals running around and lookin' cute. My mom was e'en feelin' well enough to teach me more Russian without fallin' down or anythin'! So s'all good here, homes, s'all good… Oh, 'cept Heatha won't stop pushin' Lindsay off the gorge. Uh, I mean the goats, not you guys in actual life, eh?"

Lindsay checked to make sure that neither one of them could see her, then stuck out her tongue. "Oh, really? So cool. What are you doing all the way out there, Beth? Are your families trading horses and cows? Is that something farmers do? Ooh, and is there a square dance? I've always wanted to see the square dance."

"Funny story, actually. So one of Zeke's sows birthed a two-headed piglet last week, and the mom rejected it so he called to see if I wanted to adopt it and keep it as a pet. I told him of course, so we made it a date. And here I am now!" A pause, a sputter, a backpedal. "Um, appointment. Not date like date-date or anything. Just a visit."

"Aw, but you two are like, super cute together! If you ever break up with – Oh, what was his name again? Brent? – then you guys should totally get together."

Ezekiel made a weird noise in the background, but Beth shrugged the comment off without reply. "I named the piglet Squiggles and Wiggles. She is the most adorable thing in the entire world, let me tell you. Then Zeke's going to teach me how to plant corn and prune back the fruit trees in the orchard. My family doesn't do much with plants, you know - we're all cows and pigs and chickens and goats and sheep. Next week he's going to come to my place and I'm going to teach him how to shoot a squirrel with an arrow. There aren't a lot of squirrels in his area since he doesn't have oak trees, you see, mostly just apples. Then we'll trap rabbits with rope if I'm not feeling super squeamish about it, and we're going to go fishing in the lake and camp out by the frog pond and…"

Lindsay felt her eyes glaze over. Well, there was certainly no point in sitting around until her butt fell asleep. While Beth chattered on, Lindsay stood and started clearing off the table. Stacks of paper migrated to the kitchen and bit by bit the piles disappeared. She managed to "Yeah-huh" and squeal in all the right places, and finally her friend came up for air.

"So yeah. Oh Linds, I'd really love to come, but I came all the way up here to spend time with Zeke and I can't just bail on him now. Sorry."

"Don't even be sorry, I totally underst-"

"S'all right, homes! I could come to game night with you!"

"Um," Lindsay said.

Beth said, "You _sure_ you want to do that, Zeke?"

"Yeah!" When Ezekiel's voice came again, it echoed through amidst patches of static. "We ne'er really talked since the Casa. And it's a good time for me ta leave the farm, eh? Not too many chores to be done now, just bringin' in the goats'n sheep'n things. My dad can handle 'em. And also, overheard you were kickin' it with the cool kids, eh? Sounds like fun! Can I come too?"

Lindsay lowered her phone and stared out the front windows. A rumble as the mail truck drove up the street.

"Zach, do you even know what we're going to play?"

"Nope." He sounded happy about it. Lindsay rolled that 'Nope' around in her head for a few long seconds. It tasted like daydreams; he was already enchanted, already lost. "But s'okay, homie. _The Zeke_ don't mind takin' a few minutes to learn the rules a' the game."

Lindsay winced. Poor, naïve Zeke.

"Lindsay?" Beth asked, and that simple word translated all her unspoken misgivings over the line.

Your call, blondie.

"Sure! Why don't you both come? I mean, if that's all right. I don't want to sound exposing or anything."

Beth gave some sort of reply, but Lindsay couldn't make out the words over the sound of Ezekiel's cheering.

"Three o'clock," she told her friend, reaching down to rub Cricket's ears as he wandered into the dining room. "It's okay if you're a teensy bit late, but please try to be on time. We have to start and finish before Tyler picks me up at seven."

Then it was Ezekiel on the line again, babbling happy words. Probably thank yous. Lindsay assured him that yes, she would be very excited to see them both, and no, he did not have to bring her a bloated birthday gift, although gifts were very nice. After she'd given her address, she ended the call. Then she buried her phone in the bottom of the Fruity Circle Bites box before her brain could force her heart to change its mind.

Lindsay wiped down the table, swept the floor in the front entryway, set out bags of chips and stacks of Styrofoam cups in the kitchen, and dusted all the shelves she could reach. But she couldn't sit still.

1:57. She baked a tray of snickerdoodles.

2:39. She sat down to paint her toenails.

2:42. She draped herself over the guardrail on the stairs, staring at the door.

2:54.

2:58. They weren't coming.

Just as the first tear leaked down Lindsay's nose, there was a knock at the door. Cricket's barking started up again from upstairs. "Oh," she shouted, jolting upright. "Come in! No, wait, let me get that for you." She slid down the rail, tripped once but caught herself, and yanked open the door. It was a boy. A boy with dusty blonde hair and pale brown eyes and a face she should know, but couldn't quite place. He had a yellow shoebox under one arm.

"Lindsay."

"Weston!" She threw her arms around his neck.

"Winston," he said, giving her a few quick pats on the back. She pulled away and he glanced around the house. "I almost forgot how nice this place is. I can't believe it's been almost a year since we last played up here."

Lindsay tilted her head. "I play up here all the time. Oh, never mind. You brought the map pieces?"

He gave the shoebox a pat. "I always do."

Cricket materialized at the top of the stairwell with a growl. "We'll be playing in here," Lindsay said, taking hold of Winston's arm and dragging him towards the dining room. "You remember, right?"

"Sure do." Winston circled behind the table and tugged out his usual seat. He paused. "What's all this?"

Lindsay's heart missed a beat. "What's the matter, Wesley?"

He lifted a stack of paper from his chair and set it on the table. Paula's handwriting. She'd missed it in her cleaning frenzy. Bleep!

The doorbell rang, sending Cricket yapping once more. "It's unlocked," Lindsay called, then, louder, "Paula, do you want this junk?"

"What is it?"

As another boy came into the dining room, Lindsay licked her fingertips and started rifling through the stack. "I dunno, something about tropical water patterns in a whole bunch of different countries? Ooh, I think I dated a boy named that once. Yeah, I don't mean to be rude, but it looks really super boring. I'm throwing it away!"

" _Don't you even dare_! I need a B in this class if I want to stay on swim team!"

Lindsay smirked to herself, then greeted Liam with a hug as Paula came thumping down the stairs.

"Hi, Leo."

He pulled Cricket off his ankle. "Dude, what kind of dog is this?"

"Oh, that's Cricket. He's half French bulldog, half pug, and half Chihuahua. But he thinks he's a dragon. We got him from the shelter." She shrugged. "He isn't usually this tempertantral, but hot weather gets to his little head."

Paula stomped in, snatched up her papers, shot both boys a smile, and disappeared back upstairs.

"Your sister has brown hair," Winston said in surprise, and then said, "Oh."

The others filtered in over the next several minutes, reminding her of their names before she even asked and settling around the table like songbirds on a branch. Lindsay hovered in the kitchen, pretending she was still filling her bowl with chips. 3:13.

Finally. It rang.

Lindsay started flipping the locks before even checking the peephole. It was Beth, of course. With her lip clenched between her teeth, the small girl skimmed her dark gaze along the house's front walls. Her hands were already yanking out her ponytail.

Ezekiel bounced on his heels behind her, transferring snot from his finger to the soft fabric of his hat. At first glance Lindsay didn't recognize him. His hoody was bundled in his arm and he'd put on sunglasses and that fake gold chain with the Z on it. He still had a shirt on, at least – a white one mottled with visible patches of sweat.

That wasn't the worst of it, either. A black pickup truck sat halfway down the driveway, dripping oil. A dotted trail ran back along the cement. It occurred to Lindsay then that she had been closing the locks instead of opening them and, forcing herself not to grit her teeth, she slid out the last bolt and pulled the door open.

"Belle! Zach! Hi! I'm _so_ glad you both could make it. I was starting to worry that you got lost in the valley."

The fresh air sent Cricket into a yapping frenzy. He charged down the stairs, Ezekiel yelped, and Lindsay scooped the small dog into her arm before his tiny paws could cross the threshold. With her other arm, she squeezed Beth in a hug. As her friend got her first look at the inside of the house, her eyes stretched behind her glasses like chipmunk cheeks.

"You live _here_?"

"I think so." Lindsay glanced around the porch, then pointed to a tree-shaped plaque beside the door that read _The Lanes_. "Phew! Still there. Second apple, second row. Lindsay Lane. That's me."

Beth's mouth closed with a snap and twitched into a smile. "I like it. I knew it would be gorgeous, but I wasn't expecting it to be even prettier than a fairytale castle."

"Can we come in?" Ezekiel asked, taking a step forward. His expression gleamed like the plastic chain around his neck.

Something oinked.

"Um." Lindsay slid her eyes to the hoody in Ezekiel's arms. "You brought, uh, Squiggles and Wiggles?"

"Yeah!" Beth lifted the bundle from him and Lindsay caught sight of two floppy ears: one petal pink, one jet black. "You said I could bring her over and introduce you, remember?"

"Um," Lindsay said.

Beth never heard it. She folded back a corner of the hoody and the heads - Dear goodness, _the heads -_ emerged. There were two of them, just as Beth had promised, fused at the cheeks and sharing a swollen, dark eye between them. The piglet snuffled its bristly snouts in Lindsay's direction, chewing on a string of snot.

"Isn't she adorable?"

"Can we come in?" Ezekiel asked again, accepting the pig as Beth handed it back. "The air coonditioning in my truck sucked up, and it's like a hundred twenty degrees out here now, eh?"

Lindsay wondered if it was too late to tell them that game night had been cancelled. Cricket let out a low growl.

"Oh, she is _so_ totally adorable." Lindsay pulled the door open a little wider. "Come in! We were just about to get started."

Beth stepped inside, examining the pale walls like she thought they'd collapse on top of her. Ezekiel put one boot across the threshold, stopped, then backed out. Lindsay waited there until he'd kicked them both off, even though the open door was letting precious cold air escape outside.

"We're this way," she said, setting Cricket back on the floor. She hugged Ezekiel quickly, then led them both past the stairwell and over to the dining room. On an impulse, she stopped in the doorway. She'd introduce Beth to everyone, make sure she got settled, then pull Ezekiel away before the others had the chance to notice he was there. It shouldn't take long to find the prairie boy something entertaining to do. The pool, maybe- he loved the pool. She'd bat her eyelashes at the gardener and have him make sure Ezekiel and the piglet stayed firmly outside and out of trouble all afternoon.

The rulebook had been pulled out, the cloth map unfolded, the little props representing trees and towns already taken from their shoebox and placed around the table. Winston and Skylar were arguing over whether or not the mountains were closer to Kite Village than they had been the week before, but Brent glanced up from his soda when he heard their footsteps.

"Hey, Linds. Who's the cute geek you've got there?"

Lindsay placed one arm around Beth's neck and drew her forward. "This is Beth Colby. She's the friend I went to France with in January."

Beth's tight smile made its dramatic reappearance. "Beth Collins," she told the rug.

"Huh? Oh. Oh, hey!" Winston stood and came around the table to shake her hand. "Nice to meet you, Beth. I'm Winston. Ignore Brent there- he's a total loser. It's great to finally see you in person. We loved you on the show, and Lindsay's told us a lot about you. Real shame you didn't win the million. We were all rooting for you after our girl voted herself out."

Lindsay watched with amusement as a pink glow crept across her friend's neck. "It's nice to meet you too," Beth said, tucking a strand of hair behind her glasses. "Uh, Winston, right?"

"Yep." Winston pointed to the others around the table. "That's Skylar at the far end. Adam on her right. Then over here we have Brent and Liam."

Beth repeated each one of the names in turn, but Lindsay got the sense that she was feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all. "Go on," she said, nudging her forward. "I'll be back in one little minute. I just need to take care of-"

"Yo, yo, dawgs! How's it kickin' in here?"

Six pairs of eyebrows shot up as Ezekiel squeezed into the doorway beside Lindsay. Six pairs of eyes swept over him- blue-green hat to sweaty shirt. Liam bit his lower lip, shoulders twitching like he was trying to hold in a guffaw. Skylar tugged a folding chair away from the wall and slid it quietly beneath the table, out of his line of sight.

"Yo, homedog." Adam gave a wave. "Whassup?"

Ezekiel's gaze flicked to the ceiling, then to his socked feet. He scratched behind his neck. Flecks of dirt dribbled from his shirt and formed a heap on the rug. Squiggles and Wiggles shifted in his arms beneath the hoody, but stayed silent. There was a pause.

"This is Zeke," Lindsay said. "Not Zach." All quiet, aside from a few muttered hellos. She pulled a loose hair from her shoulder and let it fall to the floor. "He's the guy who got eliminated first from the island, remember?"

Still, that same silence. Lindsay curled her nails into her palms.

"Um, I'm pretty sure that was him. Or was that Nate?"

"Yeah, that was him all right. I'd recognize that face anywhere." Winston reached his hand past Beth and finally smiled as they shook. "Hey, dude. Nice to meet you in person too. Seeing you jump off that cliff was sweet."

"Yeah. Yeah, pretty wicked, eh? Thanks, dog. Glad you liked." Ezekiel took a step away from the door and pointed towards the living room with his thumb. "Uh… think I'm gonna go watch some TV in there. If that's okay with you, Lindsay?"

The couches were white and silver. The pillows were lined with ruffles that trapped grime like rain gutters. The lamps alone cost more than the Corvette Lindsay had gotten for her birthday. For crying out loud, he was still holding the pig. Too afraid that those thoughts would slip out if she opened her mouth, Lindsay closed her eyes and gave him the most cheerful nod she could muster. Ezekiel trotted off without even flashing her a peace sign, Cricket skittering at his heels.

Liam leaned across the table. "You invited the grubby farm boy into your mom's spotless house? Oh man, your dad is going to kill you."

"What was I supposed to do?" she hissed back, taking the seat between Beth and Adam. "Beth was visiting him first and he overheard the invite. I couldn't just tell him not to come or I'd hurt his feelings." She broke eye contact, pretending that there was a really good reason she was fluffing up her hair. "And anyway, Papa won't kill me. He's always telling Teresa that if she brings home another boyfriend, there won't be enough room back there to bury him next to all the others."

"As long as he doesn't ask to play," grumbled Skylar, rubbing smudges from her glasses. "Now, can we start? If I remember correctly, when we left off last week the elves were gone and Jipko and Faustina were both down an arm."

Beth lifted her hand. "Uh, I left my regular character sheet back home. Can I just roll a new one?"

Lindsay volunteered to sit out for a few minutes and fill Beth in on the story thus far while the others flailed around Kite Town in search of healers. They brought Beth into the game as a local knight- a stocky fellow who had witnessed the elf fight and wanted to join the party's quest to Rigid Hills. A simple Barbarian. Good with an axe and nets and not much else. Rough and tumble, always wanting to live life to the fullest. Chaotic neutral. His name was Brade, and he always kept his face covered with his helmet to hide most of his lizardly origins.

Lindsay slid her own character sheet over to Beth's. "This is Princess Adrilena. I just made her back in October. She's kind of a wizard, but she's only been practicing magic for the last three years so she isn't totally wonderful. She has a pretty white staff with a giant emerald on the top. And her familiar is an owl named Im that can talk to her, but only when he feels like it. She's dating Jake, but he lives back in Shiningcrown. Oh- and she was also cursed by a draken spirit this one time so now she can shapeshift into a shark, but only when she touches salt. It's kind of a long story and basically she can't eat meat anymore after the first day."

Beth raised her eyebrows.

They joined the others at a local inn and bedded down for the night. Adrilena tried a healing spell on Faustina's stump arm, but all it did was make her shoulder swell like a pufferfish, so they gave up. When morning came, they each rolled a die to see who'd been the unlucky one to have been struck by the thief. It was Liam's Hajen- his undergarments had all vanished. Beth laughed so hard at that, orange cream squirted out her nose.

They headed out to replenish their supplies after the battle with the elves. While Hajen ran off to find new underwear for his large orc bottom, Jipko and Faustina talked to the blacksmith about weapons they could wield with only one arm. The others began bartering with the locals for food, but Adrilena and Brade paused by a small shop that dealt in magical items.

"Lindsay!" Teresa shouted, " _Why_ is your phone in the Fruity Circle Bites box?"

"Oh, I forgot!"

Phone now in hand, fingers drumming, Lindsay considered her options. Enchanted arrows that turned into snakes once they'd been released from the bow. Compasses that always pointed you where you wanted to travel. Make-up so your face looked gorgeous no matter what trials you slugged through. An axe that would come back to you like a boomerang when you launched it. Beth had picked heavy armor for Brade that would keep him cool in the desert, and that seemed like a pretty tempting option…

She put down the list. "Princess Adrilena purchases the two spell silencers."

Brent wrinkled his nose. "Seriously? Don't buy that. We're heading into the desert tomorrow. Rigid Hills, remember? We need food and water to make it across, and this is the last stop. Who's out there to hear your spells- the buzzards?"

"I want the spell silencers," Lindsay said, more forcefully this time.

"Whatever. But you're not getting any food off Jipko."

"Good, because Adrilena doesn't want any food he carries anyway. Those fingers have gotta be totally filthy by now. I mean, how does he wash them without another hand? You know what this world really needs? Spray-on soap!"

Supplies secured, they gave Kite Town their good-byes and headed into the desert. They had a skirmish with some giant turtles–nothing much–and had made good distance in the canyons by the time the sun began to set.

And then they came across the river.

Winston was narrating, and as he turned the page he raised his eyebrows. "This is new."

Instantly Lindsay pulled Adrilena back from the water, forgoing her refreshing drink. "What is it?"

"Well, the bridge is supposed to be right here." Winston pointed to the model stone bridge on their cloth map. "Only thing is, it doesn't exist anymore. A dragon fell asleep on it. All rubble chunks now."

"No problem." Adam stretched out his arms. "We walk over the rubble and swim across the parts where it's broken. Adrilena can give us a tow."

Skylar rolled her eyes. "That's great, Emli! Except that the waterfall hits the river right there, so the water has got to be crazy choppy. And I doubt the water's salty, so then Adrishark will die."

"It's choppy," Winston assured them. Pause. "And the dragon is still there where the bridge should be, covering the rubble, snoring away."

They all leaned forward, weighing their options. Brent rubbed his shoulder in silent sympathy for Jipko.

"What kind of dragon is it?" Skylar asked.

"Faustina examines the dragon, noting that it's big and brown, with a red undercoat. It has a pair of enormous wings folded along its back. A nightling firedrake- the kind that is most active as the moon rises. Nothing you haven't seen before."

Liam: "And what are the surroundings like?"

"Hajen observes that although it's all gritty desert on this side of the river, a strip of forest begins on the other side. Beyond the woods lie the foothills. The mountains can't be much farther. To your left is another canyon cliff, and the waterfall pours out of it in a roar. A quick investigation turns up no caves or secret tunnels, just several deep gashes like claw marks in the rock. The swirling water slaps against the dragon's side and some of it spills over the banks. Although it's a firedrake, it doesn't seem to mind, and sleeps on. It would seem that even beasts of flame have to stay hydrated.

"Then to your right, the dragon's enormous scaly body has blocked off a lot of the water, exposing the thick mud of the riverbed. The river is much too wide to jump across. There do not appear to be any stepping stones, just some jagged rocks beneath the falls. No other bridges around here. No bridge but the dragon itself."

Faustina had fairy shoes that gave her hover powers, so she flew across without any trouble. Beth urged her to knock over a tree and make a bridge, but Faustina had been raised by forest druids and she couldn't bear to do it. And besides, Winston said, the trees are thousands of years old and several meters in diameter. Even if you could chop one down, it would take considerable strength to roll it over, let alone drag it to the river.

Adam chose to have Emli wade through the mud. It seemed like the safest choice, but then she discovered a new species of venomous toads, and lost her shoes and her enchanted sword in the mud during her scramble to get away. Hajen followed her lead, but it turned out that toad poison had an especially peculiar effect on orcs, and he lapsed into a coma in Emli's arms. Alive, but out of commission. Possibly for days.

Jipko wasn't nearly as fortunate. He wandered downstream in search of another way to cross. But he strayed too far from the group, and was taken down by a pride of sandcubs before the rest of the party had the chance to reach him.

The others watched gloomily as buzzards swarmed at the edge of the horizon. It seemed that only Faustina with her enchanted shoes and Maylin with her powers of teleportation would be getting out of this one alive. Lindsay was starting to suspect that Skylar had read ahead of script when they'd first gotten this adventure book, and was purposefully trying to get them all killed. Awfully suspicious of her to have designed a character with flying shoes that could never come off…

Only she and Beth were left on the other side of the river. Lindsay muttered, "There's got to be another way to cross. A path. Someplace the water isn't so rough, and the mud isn't so deep." She rubbed her temples. "We could fill the riverbed with sand. That would help, right?"

"Except it would take forever," Liam said. "It's gotta be dark soon, and then the dragon will wake up."

Skylar threw a chip at his forehead. "Shut up, Hajen. You're unconscious, remember?"

"Brade is going to climb the canyon wall," Beth announced, shoving her glasses up her nose with one finger. "He's part gecko, so he can do that."

Brent, still sulking over Jipko's untimely demise, shot her a scowl. "We're in the desert. Any sticky slime he had on him would long have dried by this point. Even with that magic armor."

Winston shrugged. "True. Scientific reasoning always trumps plot-holes."

"Actually, geckos don't climb walls with slimy feet." Beth grinned and wiggled her fingers. "They have hairy toes that stick to almost any flat surface."

"What? You made that up."

"If Beth says they can, they can." Lindsay took hold of her hand. "She lives on a farm and sees lizards every day, and she's totally smart."

Brent rolled his eyes. "Hang on, I'll Google it."

Brade made his way to a ledge on the canyon wall, as high as the rocky surface would allow him to go. Now what? Lindsay wondered, watching Beth closely for any sign. Beth's fingers were pressed against the cloth map, her lower lip curled in her mouth. According to Winston, Brade's ledge put him right beside the hole where the waterfall poured out. It ran for several meters along the cliff, then dumped over the edge to the river below. True, it wasn't as choppy here as it was after its fall, but that didn't mean it wasn't dangerous. Lindsay didn't like how he'd described the way the water swirled.

"Brade creeps along the ledge, ever closer to the rushing water."

 _Take it back,_ Lindsay thought, imagining Adrilena on the sand below, staring up at her new knightly friend. Poised at the ledge, lizard hands revealed.

"He uses his knife to break off a chunk of the cliff. This he tosses into the water."

"The stone sinks and disappears," Winston replied. "It will take a lot of rock – probably more than you can cut before nightfall – to create any sort of dam or path across."

Beth gave her head a very slow shake, her nails curled into the cloth of the map. "Confident now that the water is not powerful enough to sweep the stone off the edge of the cliff, let alone a stocky lizard-boy, Brade leaps in."

"The water swirls around your legs. You stumble, catching your feet on various rocks that you cannot see. You fumble for a handhold, but you no longer have the canyon wall to brace yourself against. You're caught in the swirl, weighed down by your heavy armor." Winston paused. "Brade… goes over the edge, flailing his arms like a robin chick. He tries to grab a vine, a stick, a weed, but all snap under his weight. He plunges down, down, down… and smashes on the jagged rocks below. Pinned there, a spire piercing through his armpit to his lungs and heart, he has time for only one last gasp before his life fades away. He's gone."

Lindsay sucked in a breath. Beth pushed up her glasses and massaged the inside corers of her eyes.

"Well, that was fun." She gave Lindsay a smile. "Better luck next time. Thanks for inviting me over."

"I… I'm so sorry."

Beth waved the apology away. "I deserved it. It was a stupid move to jump in without taking all that armor off first. If it's all right, I'm going to check on Zeke super quick, grab some orange juice, and then come back to watch."

She nodded, Beth left, and the others turned their expectant gazes on Lindsay. "Your move, Adrilena," Liam said. "Make it count."

Lindsay covered her mouth with her hands, steepling her fingers against her nose. Her eyes slid across the map. Back. Forth.

"What are the stakes with the dragon now? I mean stakes like chances, not steaks like the meat."

"The dragon stirred slightly when it heard Brade's final cries. Much more noise and it could wake up, especially as night approaches. Since we've now stomped all over its territory, it's likely that it will want to attack you when that happens."

"I have animal handling. With that and a roll - a dice roll, not the food - what would I have to score to befriend it if it awoke?"

"That's the dragon's business. I'm not allowed to tell you. It could change the outcome."

Lindsay shoved back her chair and started to pace. She could still try to teleport to the other side of the river, but the last time she'd used that spell, Adrilena had lost all her clothes. And with the snowy mountains coming up and no more supply stops along the way, Lindsay wasn't willing to risk that. Besides, she didn't want all the boys to see her naked. Or, well, the one surviving boy, anyway.

Waking the dragon was also an option, although not a good one. There was no _guarantee_ that it would kill her. Maybe it wasn't evil. Maybe it just wanted a friend.

"Almost nightfall," said Beth, coming back into the room with a mouthful of snickerdoodles.

Advice. She needed advice. It was time to play her trumpet card.

Lindsay pushed her layered hair back with both hands. She sat down again. Her chair squeaked against the wood floor as she pulled it up. Beth squeezed her hand beneath the table.

"Good luck," she whispered.

"Princess Adrilena gives a wave of her staff and a few careful magic words to perform a long-distance communication spell," Lindsay told Winston, pulling out her phone. "She uses the spell silencers so the dragon doesn't hear the noise. In a swish of steam, she contacts Jake to get some advice on the situation."

Winston raised his eyebrows. "Fair enough."

"You can't do that," Brent said.

Lindsay shifted her gaze back and forth between them, balancing her phone on her palm, and Winston made a motion with his hand. "Go ahead, Adrilena."

"You can't just break the fourth wall like that."

Beth leaned across the table, propping herself on her elbows. "She's communicating long distances with her boyfriend in a way that will not disturb the dragon. And unless she disturbs the dragon, it can't hurt her now. According to the rules, she should be fine."

"But you can't do that! You can't involve outside parties in this! It's in the rulebook! We agreed!"

Winston swung around, his fingernails slicing into his Styrofoam cup. "Hey Brent, guess who's narrator right now. I call legit. _Someone_ has to be Jake. May as well be the guy he was modeled after."

Brent wrinkled his nose. "Fine. Until she breaks character, I guess she can do whatever she wants."

Lindsay held up one finger, tapping out the number with her other thumb. He picked up on the second ring.

"Linds?"

"Hey, Jake. Can you talk?"

"Uh, for about twenty minutes, yeah. I'm not in this next scene. What's up?"

"Okay, I need like, really serious help right now. I'm in a desert-y sort of canyon area, and there's a sleeping dragon blocking the river. I'm a wizard princess. I have a pet owl and I can't touch salt or I turn into a shark and die."

There was a pause.

A long pause.

"Can you go around the dragon?"

"No. On the left, the river moves too fast to swim across. If I stepped in, I'd hit the dragon in the side and probably wake him up. On the right, the dragon blocks the water but the riverbed is all super-deep mud. And, I'm in heels."

"Mmhm. Well, there should be a bridge across the riv-"

"There _used_ to be a bridge. It was made of blue and gray stone and so pretty. It was right here. Until the dragon fell asleep on it. So not cool."

"Well, you can always scritter across over a fallen log. Are there trees you can knock down?"

"This is the desert side of the river. The forest starts on the other bank. Oh, but not the kind of bank you put money in."

"You can climb the dragon, right? He probably has lots of spikes and scales and things you can hold onto. That would be the coolest bridge ever."

"But if he wakes up, he'll eat me. Well, maybe he won't eat me, but I don't know that for sure and _probably_ he'll eat me. He lives in the desert and I don't think he gets a lot of food."

"True." Tyler sounded like he was scrubbing his knuckles against his chin. He always did that when he was trying really hard to be patient. Lindsay bit her lip. He didn't care. He didn't care at all. He said, "I think it would be safer to go through the mud."

"Jake, I can't go through the mud. I'm in heels, and I'd ruin my dress. Plus, there are evil frogs that are watching me and waiting to attack. They have fangs and they're poisonous. Gross!"

"Poisonous, or venomous? 'Cuz technically if they're only poisonous-"

"Ty- Jake! Will you listen to me? I need help! The dragon is guaranteed to wake up any minute!"

"The rest of us should probably leave the area," Skylar murmured, and they relayed this information to Winston.

"Well, if I were there, and if I were in heels…" Tyler paused again. "I guess I'd find a safe place to hide from the dragon. The safest, greatest place in the world, where I knew _for sure_ the dragon couldn't get to me. Not with claws, not with fire, not with anything."

Lindsay squinted at the map. "Like a really, really tiny cave in the rock?"

"Yeah, if you could find one somewhere you knew the dragon-"

"Right behind the waterfall? So its fire can't get me?"

"Exactly. Perfect. And then I'd throw pinecones at it until it woke up and moved away."

"Okay. Hold on. If I don't get back to you, then this is good-bye. Love you, Jake." Lindsay put down the phone. She heard Tyler saying something else, but she couldn't hear what it was. "Okay," she said, addressing Winston again. "Adrilena moves behind the waterfall. Very, very carefully!"

Beth licked cinnamon from her thumb. "Are you wearing any armor?"

Lindsay frowned. "No, I- wait! Wait, hold on! I take off my shoes and put them in my purse. I mean, satchel." If the rocks around the falls were slippery - which they probably were - then she definitely didn't want to cross them in high heels. Even minus the fall, those jagged rocks could be deadly if she lost her footing.

"You edge behind the waterfall. Spray soaks your hair, plastering it to your back. Im lets out a hoot of displeasure. It's difficult to see anything from here, especially as the sky gets blacker."

"I tuck myself into a crevice in the wall."

"Night has fallen. The dragon slowly stands and begins to sniff the air."

"I grab the nearest pinecone and hurl it at the dragon."

"There are no pinecones behind the waterfall."

Lindsay's heart hit her stomach.

"The dragon has awoken. It seems to have found a scent. It turns its head, scanning the area for any trace of heat. Now that the desert has gone quiet, only one shape stands out in the darkness. It begins to lumber towards the waterfall."

"Wait," Lindsay blurted, "it can see in body heat? That's not fair! You didn't tell us that!"

Winston gave her a blank look. "It's _nocturnal_ in the _desert_."

Lindsay flattened her palms to her temples, darting her eyes all around the map. This couldn't be happening. It was stupid to think she could avoid the dragon's claws by hiding in the crevices. The crevices had probably been made by them in the first place. If Jake hadn't suggested- No, if she hadn't called Tyler- If she hadn't been such a baby about refusing to wade through the mud just because she was wearing that gorgeous new dress and matching pair of-

And then she found the way out.

"The dragon is right beyond the waterfall. It lifts its talons."

"Adrilena digs frantically in her bag. Her hand closes around a hard shape." Lindsay swallowed. "And… and she throws her high heel at the dragon's forehead."

There was silence. Everyone turned to look at Winston. He looked at Lindsay, then down at the book, and then up at Lindsay again. Tyler asked a muffled question, but no one replied.

Winston said, "The crashing waterfall hits Adrilena's shoe as it flies, disrupting the angle."

Lindsay put her head on the table. She hadn't thought about the water. Nice move, blondie. The shoe would have made a better dagger than a spear.

"The shoe flips end over end. Its point hits the dragon directly in the eye. It jerks. It sputters. And with a great, splitting cry, it spreads its wings and takes off, disappearing over the canyon walls."

"… What?"

An explosion of applause. Skylar whooped, Brent punched the air, and Adam grabbed Lindsay around the neck and gave her hair a ferocious tousle. Beth couldn't stop grinning. Even Ezekiel poked his head in, Squiggles and Wiggles tucked under one arm and grunting congratulations.

"It worked! It worked!" Tears sprang to Lindsay's eyes as she scooped her phone up once again. "I did it, Jake! I so totally would be dead right now if it weren't for you. Oh, Jake, you're the smartest hero I know."

"No prob, Linds. All in a day's work for the T-Man."


End file.
